Unusual Nuptials:
The Prince and Camilla To Wed!
The betrothed have known each other for years and have been each other’s confidante through tough times. They both know for certain that they have found their soulmate in one another. They also share the same sense of humor and interests. The bride-to-be wears as her engagement ring a touching family sentiment: it is a ring that once belonged to her fiance’s beloved grandmother. It is all sweet and romantic, for certain, but this is not your usual wedding story.
Then again, what can you expect? This is no ordinary couple. The groom is Prince Charles, 57 years old and heir to the throne of England. The bride is Camilla Parker Bowles, long reviled by much of the public for her relationship with Charles after his marriage to Diana Spencer had failed.
What Went Wrong?
Charles was once seen as a dashing and sporty young prince. He easily charmed lots of girlfriends with the hope to win one as his wife. It was no easy task. Each girl knew what responsibilites lay ahead should they accept any marriage proposal. A few wanted to be with Charles, but failed the test of decorum and discretion needed of a British Princess. Others simply shrugged off the idea of marriage to him.
“I already have a title. I don’t need another one,” was the icy response to such a question by Lady Wellsley, a descendant of the ‘Iron Duke’ of Wellington.
Out of all of the companions the Prince had had, one woman really did love him. She wasn’t worried about the pressure of being his one and only. That woman was Camilla Shand.
Once a serious girlfriend of the Prince of Wales, Camilla wondered whether she would be seen as a possible bride. Her father was a Calvary officer in the Royal household, and her mother was a member of the Cubitt family who built most of Pimlico and Belgravia. And Charles was completely besotted with her. Approaching his thirtieth birthday, he knew that he was expected to soon find a wife and provide an heir to the throne. He thought he had found “the One” in Camilla. They had the same tastes, interests, and humor, and loved each other very much.
The Prince was nervous however. The Monarchy had certain rules in regards to the suitability of a future Queen. She had to be free of scandal, and if possible, a virgin. She should also be discreet, duty-bound, and be able to deal with the inevitable spotlight. The public worried him most of all. What if they did not accept Camilla as a future queen? She was pretty, but wasn’t exactly beautiful or glamorous in any way. She was also a commoner who did indeed have a past. What to do? He had to marry and get it right the first time. There was no divorce for the heir.
Charles pondered the situation, and carefully considered what he should do. She did not seem to be right for the public image of royalty, but at the same time he loved Camilla more than anything. They would be perfect together, and surely she would have fit in beautifully with the Royal Family in private: she hunted, rode horses, loved the outdoors, and wasn’t a bit pompous.
However, Charles dithered and left the possibility of marriage up in the air. Instead of making his move, he left his beloved and went into the Royal Navy. He wrote to her and proclaimed his affections, but the young Camilla soon decided that she was not going to marry the Prince. She wasn’t exactly lacking for admirers, and subsequently dated several men. In 1973, she wed cavalry officer Andrew Parker Bowles, a longtime suitor. They had two children together: Tom, now 30 and Laura, 25. Charles stood for each as godfather, crushed though he was. He did not understand why she didn’t wait for him. He was used to things happening in his time in his way, and for Camilla to go off and marry someone else hurt him.
The Prince of Wales, one of the most materially privileged men in the world, was now lacking the most important privilege of all: true love of a soulmate. His delicate sense of self was further damaged.
Regardless of the Prince’s mood, his father, Prince Philip, would continue to harangue him. He was almost thirty.
“Get on with it Charles,” the Duke of Edinburgh would say, referring to his son’s search for a wife. “Or there won’t be anyone left.”
With that ringing in his ears, coupled with the recent death of his mentor Lord Mountbatten, Charles’ emotional state was worse than before. He felt helpless, and his chart for his life now seemed undecipherable. He at least had his wonderful granny to love and comfort him, and the Queen Mum was more than happy to attend to the search for a wife for her favorite grandchild. In time, her well-meaning search would prove to be disasterous for him.
Lady Ruth Fermoy, a friend and lady-in-waiting to the Queen Mother, had a granddaughter named Diana Spencer. She was eighteen years old, very jolly and full of life. Diana gave Charles the impression that she, too, enjoyed the outdoors and going to Scotland for holidays like he did. Even though there was a huge age difference between the Prince and Diana, the impression she made on Charles was a good and lasting one. Temporarily Camilla slipped from his mind.
Diana was thrilled and a bit awed that she had Charles’ romantic attentions. She had grown up playing with his younger brothers, Andrew and Edward, who were her age. Charles had always been the impressive elder brother, and she just child. Now, she was being considered a serious marital contender.
Lady Diana had a distinct advantage in the contest to becoming Charles’ bride. Her family, the Spencers, were one of the most aristocratic families in Britain. They had been wealthy sheep farmers from centuries past with five lines of descent, mostly through illegitimate children, from King Charles the Second. This pedigree linked her to the Stuart dynasty, Bonnie Prince Charlie, George Washington, and many other historical figures. The fifth Earl Spencer was even Viceroy of Ireland under Queen Victoria.
An aristocratic Protestant from a wealthy family, Diana also had no public scandal attached to her name and no lovers ever publicly ‘outed’. Charles had finally found his wife. In February of 1980, Charles proposed to Diana, and that summer they publically announced their engagement. Diana was to be the Princess of Wales, and sported a large oval sapphire surrounded by diamonds as her engagement ring. The Windsors were overjoyed, as was Diana’s family.
The Queen was extremely happy over the betrothal, having known the difficulties that Charles had in finding the best partner for himself and the Monarchy. Her Majesty had known Diana as a child and her father, Johnnie Spencer, had been an equerry to King George VI and the Queen herself. The Queen Mother was also very jubilant, even though it was not the original Spencer girl she had planned on. All seemed well, and a happy married life seemed to be around the corner for the Prince of Wales.
Pre-wedding ‘Jitters’
Diana realized what she was letting herself in for. Admirably, she tried to put the best face on it all, but her nerves were weakening. She was going to be put under enormous pressure, and could simply no longer do what she wanted to do with her own time. For a nineteen-year-old, this must’ve been unbearably difficult to come to terms with, especially when her soon-to-be-husband was not always around to help calm her. Palace staff were dispatched to help her learn about her new role and place in the monarchy, but Diana had already decided that she was not going to go through with any of it.
“It’s too late to back out now, Duch,” said her sisters, calling her by her nickname. “Your face is already on the tea towels.”
Diana was locked into the marriage. If it had been an ordinary man, perhaps she could’ve changed her mind and went her separate way. This was the future king she was marrying, and could not escape. Diana knew she and Charles would not work out, yet they had to marry each other since the world knew about them dating. When it came down to brass tacks, he either had to propose or drop her, as anything further would have been seen to compromise Diana’s reputation. Since she seemed suitable, Charles wanted her to be his wife. She was starry eyed at the thought of being a princess. But now the reality set in.
The emotional and mental instability that had plagued Diana for years was becoming more evident. Back when the thrill of the chase made her happy and outgoing, her emotional problems were able to be hidden. Charles had no idea who he was marrying. Now her nerves were on edge and depression set in. Courtiers were not sure what to do with her, but felt that her mood swings and sudden strange attitudes were only pre-wedding jitters. Diana tried to convince herself that is all it was, too, but she knew in her heart that she was not right for Charles or this way of life.
The only one that had personal knowlege of Charles’ preferences, habits, and tightly scheduled life was Mountbatten. Perhaps if he had seen Diana, he would have turned Charles in another direction, knowing that they wouldn’t be compatible. The marriage of a 30 year old with a rigorously scheduled existance to a 19 year old who was used to getting her own way would make a volatile situation. But with Philip pushing for Charles to “get on with it”, the Queen’s anxiousness that her heir would end up like the Duke of Windsor, the Queen Mum’s preference for an aristocratic insider, and no Mountbatten to combat it all, the Prince felt forced to choose Diana.
Starting Over
I feel that now is the time to start fresh. It has been an appropriate amount of time to start anew. Why can’t Charles be allowed happiness the way Diana was with Dodi Fayed? Diana and Dodi were always shown as the glorious, happy couple who wholeheartedly deserved each other. He liked to impress and please, and she loved attention. They were a match made in heaven. Diana seemed to be perfectly content spending time with him and involving her sons in their new life. All this when Dodi’s father was well-known for corruption and buying Harrod’s only to – in Mohammed Fayed’s words – “p*ss on the British”. The public seemed happy with the Di and Dodi coupling regardless.
Charles never had a string of women during or after his marriage like Diana had men. He knew he had lost the one woman he had ever loved in Camilla, and after he and Diana’s relationship died out, Charles set out to regain what he had let slip away. The Prince and Princess should have properly divorced in the eighties and went on with their separate lives, but at the time it just did not seem comprehendable for an heir to the throne to do so, and neither Charles nor Diana thought there was a way out.
Now, Charles should be allowed his marriage to Camilla. The Prince has made several concessions and has jumped through hoops in order to make his new marriage acceptable to the public. To forgo a church wedding; to accord to Camilla a lesser style than that to which she would be entitled as his wife; and his delay of a full seven years after Diana’s death. Most importantly, William and Harry like Camilla and her children, and accept her as their father’s permanent partner. They are glad that Prince Charles has finally found happiness. We should be, too.
© 2005 MandysRoyalty.org
Sarah Bradford is once again brilliantly articulate in her writing and is sensitive to Diana’s personal story. Diana wasn’t the nicest person in the world, but Bradford gently reminds us of the Princess’ unhappy childhood and how she became emotionally-stunted. It is a story that arouses deep pity for Diana but makes no apologies for her terrible behavior.
Her smile is wide as she steps from the car. Her blonde hair glistens in the flashes of popping camera bulbs. Making her way inside to an official function, she grins at her Princely husband who so obviously adores her. Hundreds of cameramen struggle to get the best shot of her elegant evening gown and superb jewelry.
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